Defining Healthy Boundaries

#Lavenderbread

Healthy Friendships

A healthy friendship is one that is based on love, respect, honesty (even if you don't want to hear this honesty), support and being a good listener to one another. It is build on trust, grace, and looking out for one another. The relationship should be balanced and not one-sided. You may disagree and have conflicts, but you talk things out and respect each other's viewpoint and can agree to disagree or compromise. You know each other's boundaries and you respect them. Most of all, your are dependable.

My best friend and I have the healthiest relationship. We do not fight. We are very different but you would not know by seeing us. We actually do not talk everyday but it's like we never miss a beat when we do. She knows everything about me and I about her. We talk about our mental and physical struggles. We discuss problem resolution. We raised our kids together and despite our religious differences, we learned to integrate our families. I would trust her with my life. She is the Godmother of my daughter and I am to her 6 children. We know when we need each other and make the time to visit. No one knows me like her.

Conflicts Do Arise

There was a time when I told a friend a very personal ordeal I was going through. She is very supportive but this example I was scared and vulnerable and she made a joke about it in front of her boyfriend. I was feeling betrayed and exposed when she did it and I knew that she didn't realize how big of a deal it was. I waited until I calmed down and was in the right place to discuss how I felt and sharing it was hard enough but it was harder for her to discuss with her boyfriend and in a joking matter. She immediately apologized and was sincere. We got over it right away.

Shared Joy and Interests

My friends and I have a big shared interest: Traveling

We have been to different cities in the US and on cruises and trips to Mexico, Canada, and the Caribbean. After we travel we feel closer, refreshed, and ready to plan our next getaway!

Areas of Improvement

With new friendships, there are times where your communication styles are different. You need to address and try to understand one another's viewpoint and apologize when you accidentally offend someone. I have moved twice as an adult so making new friends is hard. One of my best friends now, we had very different senses of humor which led to a conflict and truly a misunderstanding. We learned to address it when we are not angry or feeling hurt and to work through it and re-establish trust and give grace.